A man on trial for murder has told the jury he does not know why he chopped up the body of former boxer Shaun Cummins.
Thomas Dunkley (29) denies killing the 45-year-old he was helping to care for.
Dunkley claims he found Mr Cummins dead in bed from natural causes and then panicked, thinking he would be blamed for the death.
He was unable to explain why he went out and bought a chainsaw and cut the body into 10 pieces before placing them in two freezers.
Giving evidence in his defence, he told Leicester Crown Court yesterday that he and Mr Cummins became "best friends" after meeting in 2007.
Mr Cummins, who retired from boxing in 1995, was in a motorbike crash in 2004 which left him paralysed from the waist down and in need of daily care.
Dunkley said he regularly visited him in the evenings to play computer games and in August, 2011, gave up his loft insulation job to unofficially care for Mr Cummins full-time.
Despite promises of payment, he received no cash and ended up £16,000 in debt, he said.
Defence counsel David Mason QC asked Dunkley: "You say you realised Shaun was dead and you had nothing to do with it. Why didn't you pick up the phone and tell someone what had happened?"
Dunkley replied: "I wish I had. I don't know why I didn't.
"I was still depressed. I was shocked, to be honest, that he'd died. I thought I'd be blamed for him passing away."
Dunkley, of no fixed address, claimed Mr Cummins became ill by the end of August last year but did not want a doctor.
After Mr Cummins's death in early September, Dunkley began withdrawing money from the deceased's accounts.
He said: "I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I've never stolen anything in my life."
Mr Mason said: "We know what you did with the chainsaw. When did you decide what you were going to do?"
Dunkley replied: "When I was buying the chainsaw. That was the approach I took, I don't know why."
Mr Mason asked: "Why put him in the freezer?"
"I don't know, to be honest," said the defendant.
Dunkley said he searched the internet for information about stabbing and dying of stab wounds on the night of September 1 because he felt suicidal, not because he planned to harm Mr Cummins.
He claimed Mr Cummins was a "bully" he was afraid of and was too scared to leave.
Dunkley said he was "relieved" when he was arrested at an M1 service station near Wakefield in the early hours of September 13. He said: "I knew I'd be arrested at some point."
Mr Mason asked: "How do you feel about your actions?"
Dunkley replied: "I'm still confused as to why I did it. I wish I hadn't done it."
Mr Cummins was last seen by a community nurse on September 1. His remains were discovered by police on September 12.
Dunkley also denies theft of Mr Cummins's Bank of Ireland credit card and taking out a payday loan in his name, before the death.
He has pleaded guilty to preventing a lawful burial and four counts of fraudulently using Mr Cummins's bank accounts and cheques from his trust fund, after the death.
The prosecution says he dishonestly took £25,000 from the former boxer.
The trial continues.
